Christmas Without You

All I want for Christmas is for time to rewind and for you to be here now. I can't stand the thought of another Christmas without you. How does somebody live 17 years with someone and then is expected to keep living without them? People think that just because it's been over a year that I should "be over it" and "move on already." Well, SCREW YOU! You lose someone you love and we'll see you get over it in that time period. A year and a half is no where near 17 years. So, screw everyone who thinks that.

I can see the pain in my family's eyes. I can see the tears well up in them. I can feel myself about to break down. But we all are expected to go on. It's part of the world. It's just hard. My family had to completely re-do their lives in a sense. Make a new world without her here. This new family is closer, yeah, because we've learned exactly how important family is...but we're also farther apart because we all are dealing with it in our own ways.

Last Christmas was my first Christmas without you. That one was definitely a hard one. This one...is just about as hard. Surprising? No. I don't know if it'll ever get easier. It's pure pain. Deep pain. Pain that you wouldn't understand unless you've gone through it. Pain that everyone will eventually have to go through. It sucks. Plain out sucks.

People who only want Christmas to come for gifts that cost way too much should fricken realize a few things. That's not what Christmas is about. Even though I'm not too religious, and my family never really celebrated the real reason of Christmas, we always associated it with family. All I'm asking is for everyone to appreciate any amount of time you get to spend with your family. It goes by fast. Any day can change your life majorly. Just be with your family and enjoy it. That is probably the most important gift anyone can get for Christmas.